Starting my Exodus

Starting Day 3

startingexodus — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 09:56:13 +0000

Well, I’m on day 3 of no cigarettes. Yesterday I was a little cranky with my family. I also told the instructor where I work that if I smelled it, I was ripping the patch off and following the smokers. lol By the Grace of God I haven’t smelled any cigarettes. I praise God for that one.

I just keep praising Him that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I really really would love to have one though, but if I keep my mind on other things, it makes it easier.

Off I go to get ready for work.

God Bless!

Today was the day

startingexodus — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:46:52 +0000

Okay, this morning I put the patch on. It’s not been too bad, not as bad as I thought anyway. I realize the patch is helping to take the edge off of it. I’m not feeling that gnawing urge to smoke. After I finished my supper though I had to cry out to Jesus to take that severe craving away, in fact, it’s still present.

I just keep telling myself that God’s Strength is perfected in my weakness. I can do all things through Jesus Christ. I can’t give in…..I’ve got people rooting for me.

Okay, here we go

startingexodus — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 02:59:55 +0000

Instead of doing days, I’ll just title what I feel is appropriate for the day.

Tomorrow morning I start the patch. Ack!! Pray for me that I’ll trust in the finished work of the cross. He has delivered me from other stuff, I know He can deliver me from this.

Father,

I’m giving this addiction to you. It is yours, I give it all to You. I know that You took it all for me on the Cross Jesus and I believe that. Help me with the parts of untrust that still lingers.

Day 7

startingexodus — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 00:16:18 +0000

The not smoking thing isn’t going as well as I had hoped. I would like to say that I’m on day 2 of no smoking but sadly, I’m not. I do think I’m seeing progress and am headed in the right direction concerning it. I do keep telling myself that I’m not allowed to smoke and through the grace of God, I believe that it is starting to work. Today, I set the timer for an hour and a half. Once that went off, I would set it for another 1/2 hour. I’m trying to hold off smoking during the “normal and usual” times that I would.

Jesus paid such a huge price for my freedom and He wants to see me walking in the provision that He provided for me. I am free. He whom the Son sets free is truly and totally free.

Day 6

startingexodus — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 01:54:04 +0000

Okay, so tomorrow will be the day that I die to the flesh. I’ve been feeling the pressure from God to trust Him in quitting smoking. I’ve not really shared this personal blog to anyone that knows me, not even my family. I am however allowing two people who know me to walk along this journey with me. One is my best friend and the other is a really good friend from church. I know that these peope will lift me up and cheer me on. So, J and T……thank you. It’s a very humbling experience to bare all to people who know you. It’s not anything at all to share to total strangers, cause….I’ll never meet anyone that stumbles across this.

Anyway, yesterday I was out of cigs so I wasn’t going to buy anymore. I told God that I was really not happy about this whole process. Not happy at all. I told my husband that I was going to need help quitting. Chantix or something like that. So, I bought another pack. Over the years I thought about quitting but never felt the pressure from God to quit. This time it’s different, God is talking to me through the radio, consistently! He even used a story about a squirrel that got stuck in a church to talk to me. When I heard the story on the radio, I could only lift my eyes to my Daddy and smile. He really is dealing with me on this. I know that there isn’t anymore room for wiggling on this one. It’s almost a tangiblepressure on my spirit man. I know that if I can’t trust Him in this, how can I ever trust Him in the really big things. My flesh feels like it’s throwing a 2 yr old tantrum. But it must be done, to do the opposite and not quit smoking will be crossing over to disobedience and if I walk out from under His covering, well, then I will walk out from under His protection. I can’t afford to do that.

Day 5

startingexodus — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 01:19:44 +0000

So, I went today for the biopsy. The Dr. I saw last week said that there were 2 nodules that needed tested, possibly a third one. Good news, the third one was 1/2 cm so it didn’t need looked at. Praise God. Let me just say that I pray they got enough darned samples. They took like 5 from each nodule. It was a very wierd experience. They numbed my neck then put a needle in my neck and I could feel pressure on my throat. It was just wierd. While I was laying there I kept thinking, “Boy devil are you in trouble. I am going to testify about the Glory of God and just talk Jesus to whomever will listen”. I am just upset about the whole thing.

Anyway, so they get done and my neck looked like I had a goiter and a hickey. Ha! Another bit of good news is that the results for my bloodwork were back. The T3 and T4 levels came back as low, but still within normal range. Now I just have to wait for the results of the tests to come back. I refuse worry and fear. I refuse to give in to that.

1 Cor 1:9

My God is faithful (reliable, trustworthy, and therefore ever true to His promise and can be depended on)

Mark 10:27

With men [it is] impossible, but not with God, for all things are possible with God.

Mark 11:22

Have faith in God [constantly]

23. Whoever says to this mountain (nodules) be lifted up and thrown into the sea and does not doubt at all in his heart but believes that what he says will take place, it will be done.

Ps. 103:14

For He knows my frame (purpose), He [earnestly] remembers and imprints [on his heart] that I am dust. (if He knows my frame then He knows how to fix it)

I praise You my Father for being there with me today. I praise You for normal levels on those chemicals. And as I wait on the results of the biopsy, I will continue to Praise You and Give You glory. I ask that You would show me by Your precious Holy Spirit ways to minister to others. Lead me and guide me in Your ways. I long to Glorify You in all that I do. I thank You that You are faithful to Your Word. I thank You that the thyroid is coming into line with Your Word.

Day 4 (continued)

startingexodus — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 03:02:04 +0000

I’m sitting here, quiet. It seems that I can never find a quiet place in this house.

I’m thinking about tomorrow. And this is where I need to be speaking out the Word of God, but I want to go to a quiet place with just me and God.

While at work today I read in the Message bible the following scriptures. The only think I find hard about the Message Bible is the way it’s set up. It doesn’t have exact verse numbers next to the words.

1 Thessalonians 5:14-28

May God Himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One Who called me is completely dependable. If He said it, He’ll do it!

Father, I thank You that you make me holy and whole. I thank You that You put me together, spirit, soul, and body. You keep me fit, lacking nothing. I am whole, my thyroid is whole and healthy. My thyroid is functioning the way it’s supposed to, the way You created it to. Even now, because of the Power of Your spoken Word over this situation, my thyroid is changing and coming into line with Your word. I thank You that You are faithful and ever true to Your Word. The nodules ARE shrinking in Jesus’ Name. They can not stand up against Your Word. It says in Your Word Father that at the Name of Jesus every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that He is Lord! Enlarged thyroid and nodules have to bow down at that Name. They can’t stand at Jesus’ Name. I praise You Jesus for the sacrifice that You made so that I could have eternal life and health and wholeness.

Colossians 2:8-23

Everything of God gets expressed in Him, so I can see and hear Him clearly. I don’t need a telescope, a microscope, or a horoscope to realize the fullness of Christ, and the emptiness of the universe without Him. When I came to Him, that fullness comes together for me, too. His power extends over everything.

Entering into this fullness is not something I figure out or achieve. It’s not a matter of being circumcised or keeping a long list of laws. No, I’m already in—insiders—not through some secretive initiation rite but rather through what Christ has already gone through for me, destroying the power of sin.

I thank You Father that I don’t have to do anything to get into Your kingdom. Well, I only had to do 1 thing to get in, accept Your Son and the sacrafice that He paid for me to have eternal life. I thank you that when Jesus laid His life down for me, He paid once and for all the debt that mankind owed You as a result of the fall. But, Jesus didn’t stop there, no He went and took stripes on His back so I could be free from sickness and disease. Jesus took the crown of thorns on His head for my peace of mind. He set aside the riches of Heaven and became poor so that through His poverty all of the riches of Heaven would be at my disposal. I thank You Jesus for paying such a high price for me. You did it all for me. I wasn’t worthy, I didn’t deserve it, but You did and You made me worthy because You love me!

Day 4

startingexodus — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:14:48 +0000

Okay, so I missed a day. I’ll just keep titling it in days, even if I miss. I was hoping to have a scripture to share yesterday, but to be honest, yesterday was crazy busy. Today, as I read the devotional that I receive in my e-mail, I knew that I had to share it here. It comes from Crosswalk.com.

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No Condemnation

Melissa Taylor

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1 (NIV)

Devotion:

Today’s key verse is one of my favorites. It has comforted me many times in my life. It gives us freedom from the condemnation we often project on ourselves. If God promises freedom, then why is it so hard for us to believe, feel and grasp the fact that there is indeed “no condemnation” for Christians?

Self-condemnation just comes natural to me. If I didn’t purposefully keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and remind myself of who I am in Christ, I’d beat myself to pieces with condemning thoughts and words.

The Lord has the neatest ways of reminding me there is no condemnation as His child. Just this morning God spoke to me directly through a devotion I read in Sarah Young’s book Jesus Calling. I felt as if the author had been following me around and knew exactly what I needed to hear. Actually I knew it was God Who knew exactly what I needed to hear. It read, “Do not listen to voices of accusation for they are not from Me.”

Hello Lord. Are you talking to me? You know that I often feel down and disappointed in myself and call myself names. You knew my feelings had been hurt by someone’s comments. I hear You telling me not to listen to the voices of accusation. Thank you for that reminder right when I needed it.

The devotion continued, “Pause before responding to people or situations, giving My Spirit space to act through you. Hasty words and actions leave no room for Me.”

Lord, is that You again? You know that I spoke unkind words to my husband last night and You reminded me to “pause before responding.” Thank you Lord for bringing me these words as a reminder of what You want from me. I needed these today, right now.

I get so excited and amazed when this happens. It just affirms that God cares about me. He loves me. He is real in my life today. Have you ever had a “God moment” like this?

If left to defend myself from self-condemnation and condemnation from others, I’d be defeated every time. Fortunately we don’t have to defend ourselves. In fact, we don’t have to “lift a finger” (Exodus 14:13-14). We have the greatest defender in God and His Word. As we take the time to listen to Him, He can remind us that He is with us, He loves us, and it’s true…”There is NO CONDEMNATION in Christ Jesus!”

Dear Lord, when I forget, please remind me that I am not condemned. Help me to see the difference between conviction and condemnation and keep my eyes and thoughts on You. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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Thank you Lord for showing me through Your Word and through devotionals that I don’t have to walk in condemnation when I fall or stumble. I thank You that during those times when I miss it, I can pick myself up and keep on moving forward with You. I know that one day soon, all I am confessing will come into line with Your Word. I thank You for loving me.

Day 3

startingexodus — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:02:50 +0000

Church was amazing, as usual, today. Pastor was talking about David and Goliath. David was given armor to wear, by Saul, to go and defeat the Giant. If you’ve read the story, you know that David said that the armor was too big. Basically David went with the knowledge that God helped him to defeat the lions and the bears while he was guarding the sheep and that God would help him to defeat this giant called Goliath.

Jesus defeated the giant called Satan once and for all on the cross. Because we are in Jesus and He is in us, we are also giant killers. So, like Pastor asked….what’s your giant? Mine at the moment is trying to quit smoking and a situation involving my thyroid. David defeated his giant by believing God and with the Word of God in his mouth. That is how we are going to defeat our giants, by the Holy Spirit inspired Word of God in our mouth. I am speaking to my situations and calling those things which be not as though they really are. Then back that up with the Word.

Father, I praise You for your faithfulness to Your Word. I thank You that You watch over Your Word to perform it on my behalf. I praise You that You honor Your Word above Your Name. I praise and thank You that Your Word is working mightly in me causing a healing and cure and deliverance. I am the Healed! I am the Delivered! I love You Father, You are so good to me.

Day 2

startingexodus — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 10:56:54 +0000

Okay, so I did buy another pack. I am trying though to be more concious about when I do smoke and not to do that as much. I feel as if God is taking away the desire to smoke.

God, You are my refuge, my Source of Strength. You are my deliverer, my Redeemer, my Provider, my Peace, my Joy, my Healer. You know my beginning and my end. You know my frame, You knit me in my mothers womb.

About the thyroid issue…yesterday the enemy tried to bring fear into my heart. You see, for a long time (since my parents deaths) my thought life was crazy. The enemy would introduce a thought about cancer, then I would allow the thoughts to go crazy. The Word of God says that we are to take every thought captive that is contrary to the Word of God. I didn’t do that. Well, no more! So yesterday I rebuked the fear and those thoughts.

I have not been given a spirit of fear, but one of Power and Love and a Sound Mind. Jesus took the Stripes on His back for the healing of my thyroid. The Word of God says to speak to your mountain and command it to be cast into the sea, but I have to believe what I say and not doubt. Lord, I believe that my thyroid is working in the perfection that you created it to function. All aspects of the thyroid are coming into line with your Word. You said that if I believe in my heart what your Words says, and speak it out that it will be done as I have said. I thank You Father that Your Word never fails, Your Word always works. My thyroid is functioning the way you originally created it to function, it is the right size, and the nodules that they found are becoming smaller and smaller and leaving my body.

The Message Bible says:

Jesus said, “Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you. This mountain, for instance: Just say ‘Go jump in the lake’—no shuffling or shilly-shallying—and it’s as good as done. That’s why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from the small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you’ll get God’s everything.”